Archive for the ‘Funny’ Category

Am walking around town and I saw these areas the Kanjo peeps have designated as smoking zones. The smoke coming from these areas is really causing a big damage to the o-zone layer (as they call it) and the lungs too. (I wish I was a doctor because the money being spent on tobacco related diseases is on the rise or a tobacco farmer. It’s all about the money!)

Apparently, there is this new trend of people with an habit or farting in all public place…lifts, matatus, hotel lobbies, clubs, funerals, weddings, and worst of all church! This is a very disgusting behavior and barbaric too. Tunaomba serekali, waweke farting zones pia, ama waweke watu mitungi za LPG!

Am in a matatu and am seated next to this fly mama and as we are going about our business of getting to know each other, comes this foul smell of fart. Whoever did that dint have a good intention, it was like a gas attack and you could see this winkled face on everybody suddenly changing the topic of discussion from my designer cologne (its worth a fortune, WORD!) to how people how people should be wekwad those LPG mitungis on there behinds just incase one decided to do something stupid where there is a crowd (LPG fyi b the mitungis you pika with @ your digs).

I just don’t know what is wrong with me, my designer cologne and fly mamas coz every time there is a gathering or is it combination, like that, someone must fart to spoil the moment. And usually, the topic of discussion is my cologne. So this douche bag decides to fart after I have just ingiad the lift then one floor down he shukaz. Next stop, a fly mama b waiting for the lift after like two floors and you jus can’t imagine the look I got after she had ingiad but because fungain her nose would be seen as an insult, she amuaz to say hi and jus look the other way.

There is this face that is on peoples face when they detect the smell of fart but as they say, ‘don’t hold on the fart, it goes up your head and that is where shity ideas come from’.

After the TPF4 sad storo of a Kenyan not winning the coveted price (Congrats to Davis btw, at least we have a mutual hair style), I guess it’s time the Uganda Cranes kujad back in Kenya and beg Ghost Mulee to jus take back his job (at least there is someone to takes the blame Harambee Stars wakichapwa) and waache Stars wawachape at least 9 goals…they should pretend they are playing kidogo, or better yet, it’s time the Ugandans gave us back Migingo. What do you think?

So the TFP4 aftermath was crowned by one of my funny friends called Paul Semenya Lemmington, (I don’t really know why he settled for the Semenya name, and I may never know, but ntamuuliza). This friend-in crime is one hell of a joker. So with MJ having kufad, we were in dilemma, huyo msee alinda wapi? Hell or heaven? But whichever, this storo kujad up…

Semenya, “STORY STORY. There were these two fags that were sent to hell during Judgment Day. So ika happen moto ya shetani ikazimika. Mungu akachukua simu akapigia shetani. “Mundu, mbona moto imezimika” shetani akajibu, ” relax mtu wangu, kuna shida kidogo” aaii! Mungu akangojea akachoka akampigia tena. Shetani ikabidi amemwambia ukweli. Mungu, “niaje wewe?!” Shetani “sasa iko ivi, unaona hawa mahomo uliniletea, hawaniruhusu niiname niwashe moto. Nikijaribu kuinama hawa majamaa wanataka kunifungua nyuma…”